Mathematics is not a problem for me when I was child. Until I was in grade 9, I had always got almost perfect number for every exam. I haven’t any problem in math at that time. I got conceptual understanding from my favorite teacher. Math was like playing puzzle. In my memories, I felt math was my friend. But start from grade 10 in my senior high school, I felt some difficulties a bit. Although felt some difficulties but I still like math because the material was easy at all. When I was grade 11 and 12, I was start dislike math because the material so complicated and those was so much. Integral, limit, 3 dimensional shapes, logarithm, sequences and series, probabilities, and the others made me so frustrated. That was my first time frustrated in math. That was my first time felt difficulties in math. It may caused by I faced the true math firstly. Start from that time I didn’t do my studying as well as when I was in grade before. I did my work lazily, incompletely, imperfectly. It made me felt that I lost my math’s soul. I felt there was something wrong in me. At time I felt math was my enemies. But although I found many difficulties, I did my best in my final exam (UAN). Truly, I like mathematic much only when I was in my elementary and my junior high school. But now I’m not really like this course because it is very difficult to hold them.
Mathematics for myself is not about calculate number, but about how I can make relationship with them and How to making connection and how to make they (Mathematics) hold my hand. But I can’t do that now, so I hate it. Then I graduated from my senior high school, when I faced some choices of course that I have to decide what course that I have to take, I was very confused. At that time I want to choose architect or design because I like drawing or English education because I thought English was better than math. In other reason because I thought I was very tired to calculate number that I have done it for 9 years. But finally I choose math education because I think I would like to be a good teacher and make students like math,I I call it “this is my fate”. Finally now I’m a learner in an educational university and I’m mathematics’ teacher candidate. For me, what I’m doing now is one of my efforts to make them (mathematics) hold my hand again although I dislike it. It is look like Mathematics always rounding me and I’m thinking that mathematic is my fate.
In my past, I was study math as a student. Now, I’m studying math as a teacher candidate and as university student. It is very different, previously I did math in a simple way. I knew the cover of math without know the math’s’ contains deeply. Otherwise, as a teacher candidate I’m learning mathematics deeply much. I think it cause of I have to teach the concept in the future, so I have to learn math’s concepts. Mathematics now for me like a food that not delicious but I have to eat it because I like to eat everything.
harisyah tyas prastiti
2010110042
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